Stop and take a moment to reflect on how you grieve. I grieve like a loner. I want to weep in isolation. I need long, private walks with only a dog for company. Or I may choose to go on an exhausting trail run. It’s almost an angry run that purges my broken heart. I exit stage right and retreat from people, noise and life. My wife’s grief style is to have many conversations with others. She talks over and over about her deepest feelings and pains, with trusted friends. Our opposite grief styles created a conflict one Sunday at church, after a terrible death in our family. I told her that we would arrive at church late. I could control that!
very grief fingerprint is unique.
And then we’d leave early… But I couldn’t control that. She talked and talked with her friends after church while I helplessly faced all my loving friends. It was my grief nightmare. We left an hour and a half after church ended. I angrily declared that she had killed me. I need time before I am able to interact with others.
